How Breastfeeding Helped Save My Life: My Pregnancy & Postpartum Journey

How Breastfeeding Helped Save My Life: My Pregnancy & Postpartum Journey
Written by Sjanelle Bottger – Founder of Made To Lactate (Pty) Ltd

Hi, I’m Sjanelle, a mom of two, a certified breastfeeding peer counsellor, and the founder of Made To Lactate. Like you, I only ever wanted what was best for my babies. But getting to where I am today hasn’t been easy.

My journey into motherhood began in the middle of a global pandemic, and it’s one I’ll never forget.

In 2020, I was pregnant and stuck overseas, 10,000 km away from my husband due to Covid-19 lockdowns. We were separated for 11 long months. I was alone, terrified, and unsure of when I’d see my husband or family again.

I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum (extreme vomiting), hypothyroidism, and gestational diabetes. The physical toll was unbearable. The emotional toll was worse.

I had to come to terms with giving birth without my husband. That broke me.

The birth of my son via C-section left me physically scarred and mentally shattered. I developed postpartum depression (PPD) and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The days after delivery were some of the darkest of my life.

I was alone with a newborn, recovering from surgery, completely sleep-deprived, and drowning in a wave of hormones and sadness. I knew I was at risk of PPD, but nothing could have prepared me for how deeply I’d sink.

I remember filling out the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale and pretending everything was fine because admitting the truth felt too heavy.

But there was one thing that held me together when I felt like I was falling apart: 

Breastfeeding...

From the beginning, I desperately wanted to breastfeed. It wasn’t just a feeding choice; it was the one thing that made me feel like I could still give something meaningful to my baby when everything else felt like a failure.

Breastfeeding wasn’t easy. I had low supply, extreme nipple pain, and a lot of frustration. But with support from my stepmom, my midwife, and a few kind-hearted lactation consultants, we got there, one feed at a time.

Breastfeeding releases oxytocin "the love hormone" and although it didn’t "cure" my depression, it helped. It gave me small moments of connection, calm, and hope.

When I couldn’t eat from the anxiety, breastfeeding made me hungry. So, I ate. I made sandwiches, drank water, and fed my son. And in doing so, I kept myself alive.

More than anything, breastfeeding brought me back into my body. After trauma, I had dissociated, I felt distant from myself, like I wasn’t real. But breastfeeding grounded me. My baby’s tiny fingers, his warm body against mine, the rhythmic suckling, it was a physical reminder that I was here. That he was here. That I mattered to him.

Just when I thought things might settle, my son was diagnosed with pyloric stenosis at five weeks old and needed emergency surgery. It was terrifying.

Covid restrictions meant I had little physical support. I craved human touch, a hug, a warm hand to hold mine but it wasn’t possible. My husband and I video called constantly, but the distance strained everything. We were exhausted and desperate.

Still, I breastfed.

It became my lifeline through the isolation and trauma. It gave me purpose, rhythm, and connection when I had none. It wasn’t perfect or pretty but it was powerful.

When South Africa reopened its borders in October 2020, my son was three and a half months old. That was the first time he met his daddy. It was the happiest, most emotional reunion of our lives. I was back in my husband's arms, holding our beautiful baby boy.

Returning home made me realise how few lactation products were available in South Africa. That frustration and gap in the market gave birth to Made To Lactate. I founded the company on August 3, 2021, which is world breastfeeding week. Driven by my struggle and a desire to help moms like me.

In June 2024, we welcomed our second baby, a beautiful daughter. This time, my husband was by my side. This time, I was armed with experience.

Pregnancy was still hard, hyperemesis gravidarum and gestational diabetes showed up again but emotionally, I wasn’t alone. Our daughter struggled with latching and needed syringe feeding for two weeks, but I persevered.

Using my knowledge and our lactation lattes, I expressed every 2–3 hours, did skin-to-skin, and gave everything I had to establish breastfeeding. And it worked.

Made To Lactate was born out of pain, love, and purpose. I never want another mother to feel the kind of desperation and loneliness I once did. That’s why I created a company dedicated to uplifting, supporting, and nourishing breastfeeding moms.

Breastfeeding is not always intuitive. It can be painful, emotional, and incredibly lonely. But it can also be healing. It saved me when I was at my lowest. And now, I get to help others in their journey.

If you're struggling—whether with milk supply, latching issues, or mental health, please know you’re not alone. Seek help. Talk to your healthcare provider or a lactation consultant or send me an email or WhatsApp message. And never feel ashamed.

You deserve support. You deserve compassion. You deserve to thrive.

With love,
Sjanelle Bottger
Founder / Director
Made To Lactate (Pty) Ltd